I received a Seasons Hospice flyer in the mail yesterday. I get mailings from Hospice periodically and I appreciate, nearly a year after the death of my Mother, they are still sending gentle reminders that they are there if I need them or if another member of my family needs them. I don't pass along the information to my family like I should, and I think I am the only one in the family who receives these mailers. They know I get them but maybe I should work harder in getting the information to them.
Hospice remembered an important date is coming up in early April. It will be the first anniversary of my Mother's death. April 4, a date which is that much easier to remember because, it is also my youngest step-son Patrick's birthday.
Remembering my Mother is easy. I do it every day. Lately, I've even been seeing her when I see myself in the mirror, a funny thing since, I never used to think I looked very much like her. Sometimes, when I laugh it is like she is right here in the room with me.
The other day, I got a box of beads out, all different sorts of beads and started playing around with them. I made what could have been a really neat key chain but, I hadn't planned for how to attach it to a key ring and there was no way to put keys on it. I laughed so hard when I realized this was the sort of thing my Mother might have done. She and I used to shop for those beads together. Make things together. Make things apart, and then show them to each other. I have her keys now, attached to two long strands of beads she strung years ago. She strung them on leather and managed to actually attach them to a KEY RING. They are hanging in my kitchen. Mom and I would have had such a good laugh over my stupidity at stringing those beads for no purpose, for no good reason.
My Mother was my best friend for most of my life. I was like a moth, circling the bright light of her being. There was really nothing I wouldn't do for my Mother. Sure, I'd deny her once in a while, maybe just to prove I could, like when I had to take over all of her shopping and laid down the law that there would be no more going to 3 or 4 different grocery stores to pick up a bargain here and a bargain there but, for the most part I simply couldn't resist pleasing her. She was the boss and she knew it, even when I would tell her, "you're not the boss of me," we knew they were just hollow words, just a joke, just a silly little girl pretending. My Mom was the boss of me and she knew it full well.
I don't call on Hospice. Sometimes I wonder if I might some day but, the day never comes. Instead, I write her little poems on scraps of paper.
I see her mouth when I look at my mouth. I see her little forehead in the mirror when I pull my hair back to wash my face. I hear her laughing when Scooter does something silly in play. I cannot get away from my Mother and I am happy not getting away from my Mother.
The Hospice flyer said rituals can help with the observance of a special anniversary, such as the anniversary of your loved one's death. They list a few ideas for family and they sound very special. I don't know what my ritual will be on the day of her death, or if I will even observe one. I appreciate, most, their little reminder that I should not let this day sneak up on me, that I should prepare myself for it.
I just don't know how. I don't know how to prepare for the anniversary of her death but, I know, every single day, I know how to celebrate her life.
It's right here.
It's still right here.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Showing posts with label My Mom. Show all posts
Showing posts with label My Mom. Show all posts
Sunday, March 08, 2009
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Happy Birthday, Mom!
Today would have marked my Mom's 73rd birthday (she passed away April 4, 2008).
Naturally, I miss her. I still have ribbons collected off of the flower arrangements from the funeral in my living room. They were placed in milk glass vases she gave me years ago.
I was thinking about what I would have been doing if she were here, today. No doubt I'd be preparing to throw a very intimate party for her in my home, often only with she, my husband and myself. We'd be having her standard choice of fried chicken legs, mashed potatoes and gravy, whatever vegetable she wanted, and birthday cake.
My house is small, it has no room for a real dining table but at least on this occasion every year I would clean up the picnic table, cover it with a pretty tablecloth and set it in the middle of the living room floor. We'd gather around and share and it was special.
Happy Birthday, Mom...and hellooooooooo birdie!
Naturally, I miss her. I still have ribbons collected off of the flower arrangements from the funeral in my living room. They were placed in milk glass vases she gave me years ago.
I was thinking about what I would have been doing if she were here, today. No doubt I'd be preparing to throw a very intimate party for her in my home, often only with she, my husband and myself. We'd be having her standard choice of fried chicken legs, mashed potatoes and gravy, whatever vegetable she wanted, and birthday cake.
My house is small, it has no room for a real dining table but at least on this occasion every year I would clean up the picnic table, cover it with a pretty tablecloth and set it in the middle of the living room floor. We'd gather around and share and it was special.
Happy Birthday, Mom...and hellooooooooo birdie!
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Death of a parent
I don't like to get too personal at the blog anymore. Call it self protection, if you want.
People who read the comment section know that my Mom passed away in early April. I'm not bringing it up because I want a lot of people to respond with their condolences but rather to share that an old chapter has closed and a new chapter has begun.
It's a rather touchy subject, moving on from the death of someone so close, someone I saw every day, someone I considered my best friend from about the time I was seventeen and up until the time I met my husband, which is how it should be, isn't it?
Now I'm finding and quickly losing extra time. I still think of my Mother every single day and the last couple of days, I've been thinking about how I still think of her every day. I sort of hope I always will but I do hope that, at some point, instead of remembering her last days, days I worried so about her, days that were so bitter sweet, that I'll spend all my time remembering what a vibrant and full life she led before she got so sick. She really relished life, and she was so fully and completely in love with my step-dad and they had a zest for life that anyone would envy.
There are a lot of emotions that go along with losing a parent and I think maybe it would be healthy for others to see how somebody else deals with it.
First of all, it was horrendous going through those last days. Needing and wanting to see her and yet hardly being able to bear seeing her. The time I went to see her became later and later each day because I hated to see her like that, I hated to see her dying, I hated knowing she was dying, yet, on the other hand, by her own choice of going on hospice and deciding to leave life as comfortably as possible she gave us a great gift of time.
The other choice was a surgery that she likely wouldn't have survived. We could have lost her more quickly if she had chosen the surgery. So, we ended up with 7 1/2 days to say goodbye and I believe the family used those days well. It was a gift to all of us to have those extra days and those extra moments.
Now I am trying to remember her zest for life, the love she showed the people she cared about and her giving nature and I'm reminding myself that she would want nothing less for me, reminding myself she'd want me to live life to the fullest, just as she did.
I loved my Mother, I can't imagine loving anyone more than I loved my Mother, as my husband says, I loved her "hard," very hard.
Then there are feelings of guilt.
Because I have looked forward to having more time to write for CFP and now I do, I feel a bit guilty that I have that time and am enjoying it so much. I couldn't do it while I needed to be spending so much time caring for her.
I also worry about, and have worried about, what people might think of my being able to move on so quickly. I know that seems silly, but I do think about what other people think. You see, when someone loses someone close to them after a long, debilitating disease they see that person's death coming for a long time. I've seen my Mom's death coming for a long time. I didn't think it was going to happen the way it happened but I had known it could happen at any time for the last couple of years. I was braced for it, but I was braced for it to happen differently than it happened. I wasn't braced for her losing her leg. I wasn't braced for taking her to the hospital with an upset stomach one day and her never getting to go home again. I didn't think the day I called the ambulance to take her to the hospital was going to be the day that marked the last day she would ever wake up in her own home. Those things were very difficult to accept for her and for me. We wanted our life back. We wanted the life back we knew. Even though it wasn't the best quality of life, we liked our little routine. We liked our brunches and our time together every day. We liked sitting at the kitchen table watching the birds at the feeder outside the window and we liked being together. We weren't ready to let go of that. I thought I'd walk into her house one morning and she would have gone out suddenly, with no suffering. She would have had a heart attack, or just stopped breathing and I would walk in and call out to her and she wouldn't answer me. I can't tell you how many mornings I prepared myself for that scenario.
I never prepared myself for what we faced, for the road we traveled for the last 6 months of her life.
I've learned a lot about the value of life and I want to make her proud of what I do with the rest of mine. I want to take her spirit of making family, each member, feel special, feel loved, feel worth the time spent with them. There are many things I can learn from the way she lived her life. She had both a childlike naivette and a firm shrewdness. She could be so loving but when she was through, let me tell you, she was through. She was strong and soft hearted, sweet and yet no one's doormat. People are amazingly complicated, aren't they? She was a perfect example of that.
Anyway, I love my Mom, yeah, I still love her in the present tense because I know that I'll never truly be without her. I can think of her every day. I can return to moments of joy and sharing over and over and I can do it anytime I want. She'll never truly be gone.
I don't know if any of this will be helpful to anyone else or not. I've never been one to think my thoughts are any better than anyone else's thoughts, I've often thought they are worse, but not better. Maybe this has just been an exercise for myself, who knows? If it is, though, I'd have just as soon kept it to myself and not laid it out on this blog. I'm a private person. I really don't like to share my personal thoughts that much any more and since I have been practicing, pretty much, straight reporting for CFP for a while, I find sharing my own opinion about things less and less appealing all the time. I'd rather just report what someone else thinks, usually, in my opinion, other people are much more interesting than I am.
Regardless, here's an old, oft repeated piece of advice that no one ever takes seriously (at least I seldom have): Make every moment count with the people you love in your life. Your children will grow up and you'll only have memories of when they were young, your parents will grow old and you'll only have memories of when they were in their prime, you're friends are not invincible, they are very mortal and who knows what can happen? This could also be your own last day. Look at what happened with one of my favorite arguing buddies; John Stone was out taking pictures at Park Central Square one day, the next thing we know we're reading about his death in the paper and I still haven't had the heart to remove his blog from my, personal, list of favorites. Make every moment count. I think I did that, for the most part, with my Mother. I know I'll never regret it and I know that anyone who practices that with the people they love in their lives won't regret it either.
A friend of mine used to paint signs to sell, she's an exceptional artist, who, unfortunately, doesn't really enjoy painting, instead spending most of her time crafting. Anyway, she used to paint a sign, it wasn't her original thought but I loved the thought and I used to have one of her "scrolls" that said it, while seeming simple and cliche, it really says it all:
"Live well, Laugh often, Love much"
We could do worse than to live life that way.
People who read the comment section know that my Mom passed away in early April. I'm not bringing it up because I want a lot of people to respond with their condolences but rather to share that an old chapter has closed and a new chapter has begun.
It's a rather touchy subject, moving on from the death of someone so close, someone I saw every day, someone I considered my best friend from about the time I was seventeen and up until the time I met my husband, which is how it should be, isn't it?
Now I'm finding and quickly losing extra time. I still think of my Mother every single day and the last couple of days, I've been thinking about how I still think of her every day. I sort of hope I always will but I do hope that, at some point, instead of remembering her last days, days I worried so about her, days that were so bitter sweet, that I'll spend all my time remembering what a vibrant and full life she led before she got so sick. She really relished life, and she was so fully and completely in love with my step-dad and they had a zest for life that anyone would envy.
There are a lot of emotions that go along with losing a parent and I think maybe it would be healthy for others to see how somebody else deals with it.
First of all, it was horrendous going through those last days. Needing and wanting to see her and yet hardly being able to bear seeing her. The time I went to see her became later and later each day because I hated to see her like that, I hated to see her dying, I hated knowing she was dying, yet, on the other hand, by her own choice of going on hospice and deciding to leave life as comfortably as possible she gave us a great gift of time.
The other choice was a surgery that she likely wouldn't have survived. We could have lost her more quickly if she had chosen the surgery. So, we ended up with 7 1/2 days to say goodbye and I believe the family used those days well. It was a gift to all of us to have those extra days and those extra moments.
Now I am trying to remember her zest for life, the love she showed the people she cared about and her giving nature and I'm reminding myself that she would want nothing less for me, reminding myself she'd want me to live life to the fullest, just as she did.
I loved my Mother, I can't imagine loving anyone more than I loved my Mother, as my husband says, I loved her "hard," very hard.
Then there are feelings of guilt.
Because I have looked forward to having more time to write for CFP and now I do, I feel a bit guilty that I have that time and am enjoying it so much. I couldn't do it while I needed to be spending so much time caring for her.
I also worry about, and have worried about, what people might think of my being able to move on so quickly. I know that seems silly, but I do think about what other people think. You see, when someone loses someone close to them after a long, debilitating disease they see that person's death coming for a long time. I've seen my Mom's death coming for a long time. I didn't think it was going to happen the way it happened but I had known it could happen at any time for the last couple of years. I was braced for it, but I was braced for it to happen differently than it happened. I wasn't braced for her losing her leg. I wasn't braced for taking her to the hospital with an upset stomach one day and her never getting to go home again. I didn't think the day I called the ambulance to take her to the hospital was going to be the day that marked the last day she would ever wake up in her own home. Those things were very difficult to accept for her and for me. We wanted our life back. We wanted the life back we knew. Even though it wasn't the best quality of life, we liked our little routine. We liked our brunches and our time together every day. We liked sitting at the kitchen table watching the birds at the feeder outside the window and we liked being together. We weren't ready to let go of that. I thought I'd walk into her house one morning and she would have gone out suddenly, with no suffering. She would have had a heart attack, or just stopped breathing and I would walk in and call out to her and she wouldn't answer me. I can't tell you how many mornings I prepared myself for that scenario.
I never prepared myself for what we faced, for the road we traveled for the last 6 months of her life.
I've learned a lot about the value of life and I want to make her proud of what I do with the rest of mine. I want to take her spirit of making family, each member, feel special, feel loved, feel worth the time spent with them. There are many things I can learn from the way she lived her life. She had both a childlike naivette and a firm shrewdness. She could be so loving but when she was through, let me tell you, she was through. She was strong and soft hearted, sweet and yet no one's doormat. People are amazingly complicated, aren't they? She was a perfect example of that.
Anyway, I love my Mom, yeah, I still love her in the present tense because I know that I'll never truly be without her. I can think of her every day. I can return to moments of joy and sharing over and over and I can do it anytime I want. She'll never truly be gone.
I don't know if any of this will be helpful to anyone else or not. I've never been one to think my thoughts are any better than anyone else's thoughts, I've often thought they are worse, but not better. Maybe this has just been an exercise for myself, who knows? If it is, though, I'd have just as soon kept it to myself and not laid it out on this blog. I'm a private person. I really don't like to share my personal thoughts that much any more and since I have been practicing, pretty much, straight reporting for CFP for a while, I find sharing my own opinion about things less and less appealing all the time. I'd rather just report what someone else thinks, usually, in my opinion, other people are much more interesting than I am.
Regardless, here's an old, oft repeated piece of advice that no one ever takes seriously (at least I seldom have): Make every moment count with the people you love in your life. Your children will grow up and you'll only have memories of when they were young, your parents will grow old and you'll only have memories of when they were in their prime, you're friends are not invincible, they are very mortal and who knows what can happen? This could also be your own last day. Look at what happened with one of my favorite arguing buddies; John Stone was out taking pictures at Park Central Square one day, the next thing we know we're reading about his death in the paper and I still haven't had the heart to remove his blog from my, personal, list of favorites. Make every moment count. I think I did that, for the most part, with my Mother. I know I'll never regret it and I know that anyone who practices that with the people they love in their lives won't regret it either.
A friend of mine used to paint signs to sell, she's an exceptional artist, who, unfortunately, doesn't really enjoy painting, instead spending most of her time crafting. Anyway, she used to paint a sign, it wasn't her original thought but I loved the thought and I used to have one of her "scrolls" that said it, while seeming simple and cliche, it really says it all:
"Live well, Laugh often, Love much"
We could do worse than to live life that way.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
Miles from home
You do not know
I cannot tell you
each night lengthening
each night stark
filled with your face
on a pillow
where I do not want you to be.
You cannot know
I cannot tell you
heart hurting, no longer able
to hide behind picture frames
lining a wall
behind what I must do
what I do not want to do.
I cannot tell you
the days I want back
days we had now belong to
someone else
who doesn't know you
doesn't love you like I do.
You cannot know that hurt
it hides behind what I must do
It hides behind pictures on the wall
I hang to try to remind you
remind you that I love you.
All the things you cannot know
All the things we shared you can
no longer face, facing away
behind those pictures
behind those smiles
Miles from home.
I cannot tell you
each night lengthening
each night stark
filled with your face
on a pillow
where I do not want you to be.
You cannot know
I cannot tell you
heart hurting, no longer able
to hide behind picture frames
lining a wall
behind what I must do
what I do not want to do.
I cannot tell you
the days I want back
days we had now belong to
someone else
who doesn't know you
doesn't love you like I do.
You cannot know that hurt
it hides behind what I must do
It hides behind pictures on the wall
I hang to try to remind you
remind you that I love you.
All the things you cannot know
All the things we shared you can
no longer face, facing away
behind those pictures
behind those smiles
Miles from home.
Thursday, November 22, 2007
Post Thanksgiving 2007
This Thanksgiving was definitely what Thanksgiving should be all about.
Nine of my family members, including my husband and I, gathered together in my Mother's rehabilitation facility room. The center was very kind, allowing us to move a conference table into her room because plan A, to all go to the conference room together to eat fell through when Mother didn't feel up to getting out of bed and sitting up with us to eat there. The staff there helped us move chairs in that they rounded up from all over the center and we had a lovely Thanksgiving table and the food the cafeteria prepared was perfect when accompanied by some homemade desserts prepared by my sister-in-law and I.
We had turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, rolls and a dollop of cranberry sauce followed by homemade cheesecake, chocolate meringue pie and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.
Mother didn't eat much but seemed to really enjoy the cheesecake, the chocolate meringue pie and the company of her children, in-laws, one of her grandsons and brothers and sisters.
I am moved to tears that my family, besides my brother and sister-in-law were willing to give up a meal in a more enticing atmosphere to gather together there. It isn't where you are, it's who you are with on Thanksgiving day that makes it special. This day was a testament to that. So, while I won't claim that there wasn't some sadness today, due to the circumstances, I think we were successful at making the best of a bad situation.
My brother said that maybe as she drifts off to sleep, in and out of sleep all day, she hears us murmuring in the background and thinks she's at home for a little while. She managed to pretend to "gobble, gobble, gobble," like a turkey once, echoing my husband's call and I got a great picture of my brother's sleeping face with her sleeping face in the background. Then, I got my nephew sleeping off a turkey coma in one of the waiting rooms with his sweatshirt wrapped around his eyes and his mouth hanging open. I've promised to post it to the internet for all the world to see, he believes me because he's a goof.
My sister-in-law and I weren't terribly disappointed that we didn't have to wash all those dishes this year and my brother and I weren't terribly disappointed that we didn't have to spend our traditional two hours sitting at the table packaging up little care packages for everyone in the family to take home.
Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember and all the reasons why were on display today. People giving of themselves to serve others. The staff and my family catering to one another and most of all, the love we all share for that little woman who has prepared more Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for all of us than we could begin to count. If people can be angels then that little lady has an awfully big pair of wings hidden somewhere in that hospital bed and there are no words to describe how much she is loved, how much we all hurt for her pain, how we'd all love to take it away. She amazes us with her sweetness, regardless of how much pain she endures that sweetness is always present, that little smile, those little twinkling eyes when she first glimpses the face of someone she loves and oh, God, how we love her.
I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving this year. It has been one our family will never forget, bittersweet, full of poignant moments that we'll always remember, the moments that make us who we are from the beginning of life and seem to carry through to the end.
Nine of my family members, including my husband and I, gathered together in my Mother's rehabilitation facility room. The center was very kind, allowing us to move a conference table into her room because plan A, to all go to the conference room together to eat fell through when Mother didn't feel up to getting out of bed and sitting up with us to eat there. The staff there helped us move chairs in that they rounded up from all over the center and we had a lovely Thanksgiving table and the food the cafeteria prepared was perfect when accompanied by some homemade desserts prepared by my sister-in-law and I.
We had turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, rolls and a dollop of cranberry sauce followed by homemade cheesecake, chocolate meringue pie and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.
Mother didn't eat much but seemed to really enjoy the cheesecake, the chocolate meringue pie and the company of her children, in-laws, one of her grandsons and brothers and sisters.
I am moved to tears that my family, besides my brother and sister-in-law were willing to give up a meal in a more enticing atmosphere to gather together there. It isn't where you are, it's who you are with on Thanksgiving day that makes it special. This day was a testament to that. So, while I won't claim that there wasn't some sadness today, due to the circumstances, I think we were successful at making the best of a bad situation.
My brother said that maybe as she drifts off to sleep, in and out of sleep all day, she hears us murmuring in the background and thinks she's at home for a little while. She managed to pretend to "gobble, gobble, gobble," like a turkey once, echoing my husband's call and I got a great picture of my brother's sleeping face with her sleeping face in the background. Then, I got my nephew sleeping off a turkey coma in one of the waiting rooms with his sweatshirt wrapped around his eyes and his mouth hanging open. I've promised to post it to the internet for all the world to see, he believes me because he's a goof.
My sister-in-law and I weren't terribly disappointed that we didn't have to wash all those dishes this year and my brother and I weren't terribly disappointed that we didn't have to spend our traditional two hours sitting at the table packaging up little care packages for everyone in the family to take home.
Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember and all the reasons why were on display today. People giving of themselves to serve others. The staff and my family catering to one another and most of all, the love we all share for that little woman who has prepared more Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for all of us than we could begin to count. If people can be angels then that little lady has an awfully big pair of wings hidden somewhere in that hospital bed and there are no words to describe how much she is loved, how much we all hurt for her pain, how we'd all love to take it away. She amazes us with her sweetness, regardless of how much pain she endures that sweetness is always present, that little smile, those little twinkling eyes when she first glimpses the face of someone she loves and oh, God, how we love her.
I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving this year. It has been one our family will never forget, bittersweet, full of poignant moments that we'll always remember, the moments that make us who we are from the beginning of life and seem to carry through to the end.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Journalistic Integrity
Lacking in the press vs the Blunt administration fiasco regarding Scott Eckersley's firing
I have been trying to follow the complicated issue which, in my opinion, was trumped up against Governor Blunt and his administration regarding the Scott Eckersley firing. It started out as what should have been a simple question about which government emails fall under the Missouri Sunshine Law and which emails do not. In my opinion it has been complicated by certain journalists who have spread around gossip rather than reporting fact and who appear to have taken sides on the issue, propping up one party while disparaging the other based on their own gossip. You can follow most of the exchange I have had at the News-Leader forum in the comment section found under this article if you're interested in the discussion. This was my last entry, it was made to fellow commenter "TsTwkT":
Some members of the blogosphere bowed out of the discussion some time ago because they, apparently, tired of the gossip based on nothing but he said/he said. I can't say that I blame them.
For me it's been a diversion to get my mind off of the sad situation I have been going through with my Mother. She had her surgery yesterday. She lost her right leg just above the knee. This issue was something just complicated enough to allow me to occupy my mind for a few moments here and there and try to maintain a bit of sanity. But, I think it's pretty much run its course.
I want to thank all of those who have been praying for my Mother. She has some hard work ahead and continued prayer for her and my family is still appreciated.
I have been trying to follow the complicated issue which, in my opinion, was trumped up against Governor Blunt and his administration regarding the Scott Eckersley firing. It started out as what should have been a simple question about which government emails fall under the Missouri Sunshine Law and which emails do not. In my opinion it has been complicated by certain journalists who have spread around gossip rather than reporting fact and who appear to have taken sides on the issue, propping up one party while disparaging the other based on their own gossip. You can follow most of the exchange I have had at the News-Leader forum in the comment section found under this article if you're interested in the discussion. This was my last entry, it was made to fellow commenter "TsTwkT":
""The documentation they have shows it was deactivated on 9/25. There's no time delay for it to kick in and the documentation was provided by the technology company."
Have you seen that documentation, TsTwkT? I'd like to see that documentation. Where might I access it? Further, where do you come by your information that "there's no time delay for it to kick in?"
Then the next obvious question would be, does the Blunt administration have the right to access a state computer used by a state employee in their own administration after he is fired?
Eckersley was an employee of the Blunt administration, the computer he used on the job was not his own. Does his employer have the right to access information stored in that state owned computer? To what degree?
Taking it out of the political realm, if you use a computer supplied by your employer at your office do you have the right to limit your employer's access to their computer should you either quit or be fired from that company? I would think that your employer would have free reign to examine their own computer, especially if, after you were fired you had challenged their reasons given for firing you in a public forum.
I think the difference between myself and some people is that I'm just not willing to jump to conclusions and I certainly don't mean to suggest I have all the answers. I just think that there are some questions that aren't being asked. Some pretty serious charges are being leveled at the Governor's office and many of them are based on rumor. This isn't the only issue that such rumored charges have been made, nor the only party that has had rumored charges leveled without any real, tangible proof of wrong doing. I suppose my question is a broader one than about Eckersley vs the Governor's office and it really has been from the start. The broader question is about certain members of the press VS the Governor's administration. How far should editorialists go in making charges without supporting them in the press? Where is the line and when is it crossed? It's a sort of a moral issue for me, I suppose.
Now, I've got other business to be about and to be honest, this issue has merely served as a bit of a diversion for me during a difficult time. When more evidence to support some of the rumors comes out I might revisit it. Oh, and I would like the links to that evidence you have alluded to from the "technology company."
Some members of the blogosphere bowed out of the discussion some time ago because they, apparently, tired of the gossip based on nothing but he said/he said. I can't say that I blame them.
For me it's been a diversion to get my mind off of the sad situation I have been going through with my Mother. She had her surgery yesterday. She lost her right leg just above the knee. This issue was something just complicated enough to allow me to occupy my mind for a few moments here and there and try to maintain a bit of sanity. But, I think it's pretty much run its course.
I want to thank all of those who have been praying for my Mother. She has some hard work ahead and continued prayer for her and my family is still appreciated.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Taking care of elderly parents takes diligence
Just a warning.
My Mother had emergency surgery.
After laying in a hospital bed for two days requesting that her old primary care physician be called in and with her very devoted daughter requesting that her old primary care physician be called in, he finally was and immediately determined that the blood supply to both of her legs and lower pelvis was completely blocked.
The prognosis was as favorable as we could expect but could have been better if she and I had been taken more seriously when we repeatedly tried to get attention for her legs, which were as cold as ice, mottled and turned almost black when they were not elevated.
This happened WHILE she was laying in a hospital bed, while the doctors caring for her in the absence of her primary care doctor were discussing discharging her to a rehabilitation facility.
This is a warning. If you find your elderly parent in the hospital and his or her usual primary care physician is away from the office and practice partners are overseeing her care, practice partners who do not know your parent and do not know your parent's health care history, BE ON GUARD. You may be the only thing between saving your parent's life or watching your parent die, or lose a limb.
Thank God, the people praying for my Mother, the family who has been there with me and the primary care physician who had overseen her care for 12 years in the past.
Diligence.
She is not out of the woods yet. She may yet lose a part of one of her legs. Those who pray....shoot a prayer out for a sweet little old lady who knows what she's talking about when she says something isn't right....
....and for my Mom: HEWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You little birdie.
My Mother had emergency surgery.
After laying in a hospital bed for two days requesting that her old primary care physician be called in and with her very devoted daughter requesting that her old primary care physician be called in, he finally was and immediately determined that the blood supply to both of her legs and lower pelvis was completely blocked.
The prognosis was as favorable as we could expect but could have been better if she and I had been taken more seriously when we repeatedly tried to get attention for her legs, which were as cold as ice, mottled and turned almost black when they were not elevated.
This happened WHILE she was laying in a hospital bed, while the doctors caring for her in the absence of her primary care doctor were discussing discharging her to a rehabilitation facility.
This is a warning. If you find your elderly parent in the hospital and his or her usual primary care physician is away from the office and practice partners are overseeing her care, practice partners who do not know your parent and do not know your parent's health care history, BE ON GUARD. You may be the only thing between saving your parent's life or watching your parent die, or lose a limb.
Thank God, the people praying for my Mother, the family who has been there with me and the primary care physician who had overseen her care for 12 years in the past.
Diligence.
She is not out of the woods yet. She may yet lose a part of one of her legs. Those who pray....shoot a prayer out for a sweet little old lady who knows what she's talking about when she says something isn't right....
....and for my Mom: HEWOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! You little birdie.
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