Guinea Feathers

You brought me a guinea feather from the barn.

I said, "...a guinea feather...."

You know, and you knew, grandma and I used to guinea egg hunt
on the Phillips' farm in Bergman.

Funny, I was busy googling for my cousin Mark
when you brought that
speckled and fading feather.

I found him on the front porch with his dachsund.

I found him at a familly reunion with grandma and grandpa,
Annabeth in the background,
full 2-D

Mark and I used to walk barefoot to Crooked Creek
(back when kids could be loosed for the day with no fear)
back in those Arkansas summer days.

Later, I would sit on the banks of Crooked Creek alone
my notebook and pen in hand, a Saul Bellow book for my companion,
the rocks a cold barren gray, the shade under
the bower, deep.

Once Debbie was there with me
once Gabriel
once a whole creative writing class, and Dee Dee,
Dee Dee was the algae queen that day.

Those days were green and golden, and I was sad, and
didn't even know I had nothing to be sad about.

Memories seem like guinea feathers,
all speckled and fading.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

I'M HOME!!!!

I nearly died but as Momma Twoop wrote below, God decided to perform a miracle in my life and I'm back!

I have a list of article and report ideas I prepared at the hospital and I WILL be chipping away at it as time goes on but, for the time being I am still a bit weak.

I think I spent the last two weeks at Select Services Specialty Hospital but, all in all I have been in hospital over a month fighting an antibiotic resistant strain of pneumonia. There are wonderful employees at Select. Too many to thank individually but, I will just say that I walked away from there feeling I had new friends. Wonderful bunch of f0lks.

I also have many friends and family [including church family] members to thank for all their prayers, visits and attention, which I know will even be ongoing as I work to rebuild my strength after being bedridden for so long. I cannot tell you what a new appreciation I have for the people who God saw fit to connect me with in this life. I don't believe we ever meet anyone by accident, there is always a reason why someone, even a sales clerk, steps into our lives.

I have a renewed love for my husband who had to struggle on the emotional roller coaster of not knowing whether his wife would live or die, was advised to call in family so that they could make their final goodbyes at one point but, managed somehow to be the best support to me I could have ever asked for and could have ever imagined he was capable of.

A special thanks to Vince Jericho of KSGF for repeatedly praying and calling for prayer from his listeners on my behalf.

A special thanks to Fred and Janice Ellison for their unwavering and time consuming support, to Tom Martz for his friendship and support, to Galen Chadwick of the Well Fed Neighbor Alliance, who regularly visited me and, I understand, has a lot of work for me to do, Dan and Alice [I have your radio] to Momma Twoop for her phone calls and the beautiful snowflakes and notes she and her children sent me, and a special thanks to Dwain and Sharon Ege...they know why. Loads of love and appreciation to my brother, sis in law and nephew and my dad, step mom, stepsister and brother in law. Thanks to Dale Johnson for stealing Wes' papers for me and bringing me a News-Leader every day toward the end of my stay. There are too many people for me to list them all individually, I hope I haven't missed anyone and that everyone will understand this is mainly meant to be an all encompassing, great big thank you to all those who have supported me, sometimes I don't even know when or how.

I will more than likely revisit this topic at a later date, I know there is more to say but, hopefully I hit the majority of people who have been so much help and such a support to me.

[Looks like someone hijacked my twitter acct.]

Can't win 'em all

Traci, I'm sorry I beat you so bad at that second game of dominoes.

John, I'm sorry you are such a loser.

Heh.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Post Thanksgiving 2007

This Thanksgiving was definitely what Thanksgiving should be all about.

Nine of my family members, including my husband and I, gathered together in my Mother's rehabilitation facility room. The center was very kind, allowing us to move a conference table into her room because plan A, to all go to the conference room together to eat fell through when Mother didn't feel up to getting out of bed and sitting up with us to eat there. The staff there helped us move chairs in that they rounded up from all over the center and we had a lovely Thanksgiving table and the food the cafeteria prepared was perfect when accompanied by some homemade desserts prepared by my sister-in-law and I.

We had turkey, dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, green bean casserole, rolls and a dollop of cranberry sauce followed by homemade cheesecake, chocolate meringue pie and pumpkin pie with whipped cream.

Mother didn't eat much but seemed to really enjoy the cheesecake, the chocolate meringue pie and the company of her children, in-laws, one of her grandsons and brothers and sisters.

I am moved to tears that my family, besides my brother and sister-in-law were willing to give up a meal in a more enticing atmosphere to gather together there. It isn't where you are, it's who you are with on Thanksgiving day that makes it special. This day was a testament to that. So, while I won't claim that there wasn't some sadness today, due to the circumstances, I think we were successful at making the best of a bad situation.

My brother said that maybe as she drifts off to sleep, in and out of sleep all day, she hears us murmuring in the background and thinks she's at home for a little while. She managed to pretend to "gobble, gobble, gobble," like a turkey once, echoing my husband's call and I got a great picture of my brother's sleeping face with her sleeping face in the background. Then, I got my nephew sleeping off a turkey coma in one of the waiting rooms with his sweatshirt wrapped around his eyes and his mouth hanging open. I've promised to post it to the internet for all the world to see, he believes me because he's a goof.

My sister-in-law and I weren't terribly disappointed that we didn't have to wash all those dishes this year and my brother and I weren't terribly disappointed that we didn't have to spend our traditional two hours sitting at the table packaging up little care packages for everyone in the family to take home.

Thanksgiving has been my favorite holiday for as long as I can remember and all the reasons why were on display today. People giving of themselves to serve others. The staff and my family catering to one another and most of all, the love we all share for that little woman who has prepared more Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners for all of us than we could begin to count. If people can be angels then that little lady has an awfully big pair of wings hidden somewhere in that hospital bed and there are no words to describe how much she is loved, how much we all hurt for her pain, how we'd all love to take it away. She amazes us with her sweetness, regardless of how much pain she endures that sweetness is always present, that little smile, those little twinkling eyes when she first glimpses the face of someone she loves and oh, God, how we love her.

I hope everyone had a happy Thanksgiving this year. It has been one our family will never forget, bittersweet, full of poignant moments that we'll always remember, the moments that make us who we are from the beginning of life and seem to carry through to the end.