Saturday, February 18, 2006

This Just Flat Hurts...

What do you do when, after 11 years, the Doctor your Mother has been going to, the one she loves and you have grown to love, the one who seems like a member of the family, who seems like her other "son," who has seen her through thick and thin, laughed with her, cried with her and held her hand, calls to say that he and the other Doctors in his practice held a meeting and that they all voted that they do not want to see her when they are on call because of all the problems she has? Tells her it was not him but that he has no choice? Tells her to keep her next appointment this month but that he'll refer her to a new Doctor, another Doctor, someone she's never met?

I know of nothing one can do but cry.

There really are no words for this kind of a loss.

I keep seeing him laughing with her, obviously loving her, telling her she's his favorite patient and there is nothing I can do.

Nothing.

6 comments:

Mini Me said...

You have got to be kidding?? I have never heard of anything like that happening before. And it's so hard to find a doctor you feel comfortable with.

It has got to be more than just her problems, I don't think they are telling the whole truth. I'd like to know how they go to sleep at night pulling crap like that.

Hope your mom is handling it ok - I don't know what I would do if my parents doctor did that, I would most likely give them a piece of my mind, very loudly in front of all their other patients. I mean, how can you build trust with patients if they fear they may be dropped any moment?

Mini Me said...

By the way, I'm still praying for her. My dad has lots of health problems and it's pretty difficult to watch. I moved closer to my parents just to be around in case of any problems. So I know how difficult it is.

Jacke M. said...

Hi Mini,

A little history, Mom's primary care Dr. is a Rheumatologist. He agreed to keep her after she was diagnosed with Wegner's. He called her to discuss a medication she is on and kept saying he needed to talk to her about something. Mom could tell he was reluctant to break the news. She has a lot of problems, the Wegner's, heart disease, she's had two or three leg bypasses, has stints in both her renal arteries, has had blood clots and almost lost a leg once, and of course you know about her pending hip surgery. I think the other Doctors just didn't want the responsibility of dealing with all of the problems she has if something were to happen while they were on call. I don't like it but I guess it's something we'll have to live with.

I told her this morning that nothing happens that God doesn't allow and maybe God has a better Doctor in mind for her. I know that might be considered to be a small and hollow platitude to some people, but it is also true that God sees the big picture and we don't. I'm trying to look at it more positively now, though at 2:30 this morning, when I woke up with it on my mind, I was feeling anything but positive. We just need to trust God. That's what I'm going to try to do.

I really appreciate your on-going prayers. It really means a lot to me. Thanks for being such a support!

Jacke M. said...

Hey, Mini, I'm sorry I was only thinking of myself. I'm sorry to hear about your Dad's health problems and I'll start praying for him too.

I moved to my location because of my Mom, too.

Mini Me said...

Hey Jacke,

Thanks for the kind words. Dad had another surgery today, but it was a pretty simple one.

Keep your head up - my dad always says that despite all he has gone through, he wouldn't of traded it for anything since it has brought him closer to me and my brother. And we are closer and I love both my parents with all my heart.

It's hard watching your parents get old - you just never think about it happening.

Jacke M. said...

I seem to have more problem with accepting the parental aging process when it comes to my Dad than my Mom. I think it has to do with the fact that I see her all the time and I see him once in a while, that and he's more active than I am! He's one of those, like me, who's seldom been sick and doesn't have much health issues. He still plants a big garden every year, works cattle and manages to keep his farm mowed and tended. He even, this past summer dug water lines for city water out at his place. All this at the age of 76, to be 77 next month. What a guy.

I almost lost him in a car accident about 5 years ago and I'm so thankful that he came out of it as well as he did. He lost his sense of smell entirely and he doesn't recognize people very well, unless it's close family. I think it is just mainly people new to him, his short term memory suffers. He can meet someone today and not recognize them tomorrow.

I'm glad your Dad came through his surgery well.

My mom told me last night on the phone that the first thing and last thing she thinks of every day is the Doctor who is dropping her. Tomorrow we go to see him for the last time. I know she's going to cry, I probably will too and I'm both looking forward to it and dreading it at the same time.

I'll keep praying for you and yours, my friend!