Redneck Joke Alert!

'MARIJUANA FILLED FIREWOOD'

'Hello, is this the Sheriff's Office?'

'Yes. What can I do for you?'

'I'm calling to report 'bout my neighbor Virgil Smith...He's hidin' marijuana inside his firewood! Don't quite know how he gets it inside them logs, but he's hidin' it there..'

'Thank you very much for the call, sir.'

The next day, twelve Sheriff's Deputies descend on Virgil's house. They search the shed where the firewood is kept.

Using axes, they bust open every piece of wood, but find no marijuana. They sneer at Virgil and leave.

Shortly, the phone rings at Virgil's house.

'Hey, Virgil! This here's Floyd....Did the Sheriff come?'

'Yeah!'

'Did they chop your firewood?'

'Yep!'

'Happy Birthday, buddy!'

(Rednecks know how to git-R-dun). ---author unknown

My Aunt sent some political quotes:

My Aunt, the one who sent me the Bible book puzzle, sent me some quotes tonight. Many of them I had already seen but they were enjoyable to read again. Here's a couple of them that you might have already read but I hadn't seen before:

"If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free!"- P.J. O'Rourke

"The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin."-Mark Twain

Here's a couple I had read but are worth repeating:

"Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it."-Ronald Reagan (1986)

"I don't make jokes... I just watch the government and report the facts."-Will Rogers

Thanks, Aunt _____! (She's an anonymous source :)