Friday, October 20, 2006

The Preening, Powdering, Pampering and Perfuming of Mother

I love my Mother. Let's say you pretend that I said that 1,000 times before I proceed.

Last Tuesday she had a Doctor's appointment but I got to her house to discover that her water was off, a regular occurrence where she lives. We had to reschedule her appointment because she had no water and no way to get showered, preened, powdered, pampered and perfumed.

The appointment was rescheduled for Tuesday of this week, or so we thought. She even got the regular recorded call from the Doctor's office last Friday to confirm her appointment for Tuesday, she reports. So, Tuesday I arrive at her house early in the morning. I prepare her breakfast as I do every day, I get things set up for her shower...don't ask. She has her shower, slathers up with lotion, preens, powders, pampers, perfumes. We load up in the car, drive all the way across town, make it to the Doctor's office without a minute to spare, head in to the receptionist's desk who sits with her mouth hanging open searching and searching but Mom has NO appointment scheduled. Her appointment, it appears, is for Thursday and not Tuesday at all. I don't know whether she misunderstood or if they really told her Tuesday and called her to confirm Friday like she said for Tuesday or Thursday but she's not senile, at least not yet. ;) Anyway, we got some fast food chicken, came to my house had chicken fast food dinners and I took her home.

Fast forward to Thursday. :/

This morning I took her some Hardee's biscuits and gravy, she's on a Hardee's biscuit and gravy kick...she gets on these food kicks where she craves a certain thing all the time until she gets completely sick of it and never eats it again, recently it's been Hardee's biscuits and gravy, Butter Brickle ice cream and apple sauce, she has left Gordman's Beer Battered fish fillets, apple juice and Orange Dream ice cream in her wake, but I digress.... So, I get her breakfast ready and she eats, she decides she'll just wash up today and that I should go on home for a while, so I tell her I'll be back at 2:30 to take her to the Doctor. Sigh.

While I was gone she lost one of her eyelashes (she uses false eyelashes...again, don't ask) and the first thing she says to me when I come through the door is "come and find my eyelash, I looked for my eyelash for an hour and couldn't find it." I found it in about five minutes but Mother is NOT ready to go to the Doctor's office.

At the time she was supposed to BE there she called the office to tell them she was running late. She was informed that if she was more than 15 minutes late that the Doctor couldn't see her and they'd need to reschedule. So, we've preened, powdered, pampered and perfumed for nothing...what does she say? "Will you take me to Wal-Mart, if you don't have anything else to do?" Loooooooooooong pause....I'm thinking "if I take you to Wal-Mart this afternoon you will NOT have a pleasant shopping experience." Anyway, the good news is WE GET TO DO IT AGAIN TOMORROW! For the THIRD time this week...followed by a trip to Wal-Mart. Yeeeeeeeee haaaaaaaaaw!

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