Isn't this an interesting poll?
It asks the question:
"Has your house of worship gone through a divisive time when many people left?"
beliefnet poll survey
So far 79% answered in the affirmative.
Seems I'm not alone. :(
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6 comments:
Our church just went through 3 years of constant problems, people leaving at various times due to a variety of issues. It was a very long 3 years, but we are finally seeing the light.
Thanks for your comment and that link to the story, it was a great read!
I left my church of just a couple of months shy of eight years. It was a horrible experience, Mini. I hope to never go through something like that again, but one thing I learned, and it's almost unfortunate, is that Christians can be just as mean and evil as non-Christians, even to the point of making you question whether people you held in deep respect for years were even Christians at all.
My mom is still a member there but only because she is in such poor health that she hasn't been attending church anyway. She still gets mail from that church because she's still a member and it is hard for me not to take an interest and to be negative about my old church. But, you know, there are a lot of people there who I love and miss. Occasionally I call or they call or I bump into them at the supermarket or something. It's always a very bittersweet experience. I was amazed that so many people have this sort of an experience.
I know it must have been hard for you too, to see the weaknesses in people at Focus on the Family. I'd love to hear more about your experience there sometime.
Thanks for stopping by, it's always a pleasure! It looks like I wrote a book, lol.
I feel for you, it is a horrible experience. With all those who have left at our church I have tried to maintain relationships. I would hate to think that the problems with the church could ruin a good friendship. Luckily most of them have been willing to keep in touch (my calendar has all of a sudden included LOTS of monthly breakfasts with friends, just so we won't lose touch.) But so many horrible things have been said and done that it is a tough line to navigate. And some people would jsut prefer to say and act in a way that is anything that is Christ-like.
As for Focus, maybe I will post on that this week (I haven't felt much like posting lately, I need to get back in the habit). I actually went into the place a bit cynical, believing I would encounter many hypocrites. So I wasn't too surprised when I encountered them, although there were fewer than I thought there would be. It became more of an issue of my not agreeing with where the ministry was going (this was when they started getting very political in the 1990's and there was tons of pressure in the office to lean a certain way politically). I temper all this by saying they do an amazing job in other areas, helping so many people that may not otherwise get help. It's mostly politically that I have the issue with.
Ok, my turn to write a book! But you may have motivated me to blog, so I just might do that :-)
Jacke, I have a feeling if we met we would be fast friends - I just get a good feeling about some of our "conversations."
You know, Mini, you said something I wanted to respond to:
"I actually went into the place a bit cynical, believing I would encounter many hypocrites. So I wasn't too surprised when I encountered them, although there were fewer than I thought there would be."
I'm glad you said there were fewer than you thought there'd be, because that tells me that you are the fair-minded person I think you are...but what I wanted to say is that we need to be very careful about expecting things from people, because we can always find those flaws, whatever they might be. You know, my sage old dad once told me that if you go to a party expecting to have a bad time you surely will. (I was, and still am to a certain degree, a very shy young girl and scared to death of parties).
Know what I mean? :)
Oh, yeah, I meant to say, that I get a good feeling about you too, Mini. 'Specially after reading your blog. I'm sure we'd be fast friends in no time. Ooops, I think we already are! :)
Those are wise words. It's funny, when it comes to my professional life, I have low expectations of people. Not in a "I think they will be jerks and do a horrible job" sort of way, but in a more realistic way, expecting them to be human and at times make mistakes.
However, when it comes to my personal life, I'm opposite. I have these huge expectations and for many years was crushed when people disappointed me. When I began to realize what I was doing, I also began to understand why my relationships were such a mess. It's a hard habit to break.
And thanks for the compliment - I hope I am a fair person. My father is who I hold up as the most honest, fair and accepting person I have ever met. He's a great example.
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