"Omigosh! Wha...HUH? No way! Well I'll be da...HUH?! OMIGOSH!!"
There you go. Perhaps next time you should believe me when I say my feelings can't be articulated. :)
Here's the story:
Women allege monkey business caring for gorilla
18 Feb 2005 21:55:26 GMT
SAN FRANCISCO, Feb 18 (Reuters) - Two women who helped care for a famous gorilla have sued the foundation nurturing Koko, saying they were fired for refusing to show the animal their breasts, lawyers said on Friday.
The lawsuit says the president of the Gorilla Foundation, Francine Patterson, sought to have the women bond with the gorilla by performing "bizarre sexual acts with Koko."
"Through sign language, as interpreted by Patterson, Koko 'demanded' plaintiffs remove their clothing and show Koko their breasts," the lawsuit said.
"Patterson pressured plaintiffs to perform such acts, regularly and consistently, and on at least one occasion, outdoors where others could see," the lawsuit added.
The Gorilla Foundation, south of San Francisco, maintains that Koko understands a sign language vocabulary of more than 1,000 words. Some experts believe that claims to understand a gorilla so well are exaggerated.
According to the Gorilla Foundation's website, Patterson is a "real-life Dr. Dolittle" who has worked more than 30 years communicating with Koko, who was born in 1971. Patterson did not return calls, but her attorney issued a strong denial.
"We unequivocally deny these allegations and are confident that this case lacks merit," Todd Roberts said in a statement. "For the attorney for plaintiffs to manipulate a purported employment issue and miscast it purely for publicity purposes is particularly hurtful to the noble efforts of such a reputable organization."
According to the suit filed on Tuesday, Patterson often discussed her employees's breasts with Koko:
Koko, who was born in 1971, has received wide global publicity, giving an Internet chat in 1998 and a visit from comedian Robin Williams last year.
Well, what do you think of them thar apples? It looks like Koko, an animal who's progress I've followed for years, is gay. Either that or her trainer is one kinky lady!
I wonder if the Democrats will drop the donkey as their mascot in favor of Koko, an animal anyone who hasn't been in a coma for the past two decades has heard about and one who's name recognition is high?
Would representation by an ape as opposed to a jackass really be different in any substantial way?
If Dean is, by some chance, searching for a new symbol to represent his "new" Democrat Party, I have some advice for him.
Mr. Dean, you should consider adopting a new Democrat symbol depicting the gay Koko pulling the Democrat jackass by a leash. After all, it would be an accurate represenation of your party's candidates in the last election. It should be left up to the people to decide which candidate is best represented by the leash-drawn ass, and which one is best represented by the gay ape.
Also, apes are known for getting creative with their excrement when they're excited. Thus, including Koko in your party's symbol would be quite appropriate!
If I'm not mistaken, apes are also known to scream wildly without warning. That speaks for itself, does it not?
Certianly, this new symbol should serve you well for years to come!
Just some food for thought, Mr. Dean.
The always helpful,